Tuesday, February 28, 2012

A blog not about weddings

I'm going to attempt to create a blog post that does not go into inane wedding details that certainly no one cares about.  Here we go...

I've noticed on a few blogs recently that people are typing out interesting or funny conversations they have with their significant other. Charles and I have funny conversations from time to time too.  Like the other day.  I had consumed far too much sugar and caffeine that day (THANK YOU MCDONALD'S SWEET TEA), and right around bedtime, the shenanigans really began.  I told Charles I was going to move out if he didn't stop doing something.  Or if he didn't do something.  I can't remember why I made this threat, but rest assured, it was funny.

He tried to tell me he was fine with me moving out, and wanted to know where I was going to go.  Yes, everyone who is fine with someone else moving out wants to know where the moving party is going.  At any rate, I told him I was going to my mother's house.

Charles:  If you go to your mother's house, will I grow a scraggly beard?

Me:  Most definitely.  Then you'll start picking up stray animals.  And you'll name them all Holly, so you can continue to say my name in the house.  Because you'll miss me.

Charles:  Really?  All Holly?

Me:  All except one.  One you will name Baby.  So you can still call something Baby.

Charles:  Interesting.

I promise this conversation was funny when we had it.  Or, my sugar and caffeine induced state caused that to be funny.  That's also highly possible.

We had a dance lesson tonight.  We are learning how to ballroom dance, for that event we are part of in April (see what I did there?).  The dance instructor, for some reason, got the first impression that Charles is a quiet, low key guy.  If there is a part of Charles that is low key and quiet, I've never seen it.  Ever.  And I've been around for over 3 years now.  I think by now I'd have seen it.  At any rate, we had a good time dancing, and Charles actually surprised me with his ability not to totally screw up the dance, and his ability not to stomp on my feet.  Apparently, I will not be screaming "STOP STEPPING ON MY FEET YOU CLUMSY BASTARD" during previously referred to event.  That's probably a good thing.  I'm not sure adding that line will do anything for "Just a Kiss."  We get our second lesson on Monday night, and I'm kinda excited about it.  It really was fun.  We are considering continuing the lessons, after the free ones run out on Monday, depending on the cost.  It'll be good for Charles and I to have something that is ours, that we do together on a consistent basis.  Right now, we consistently sit in the living room, on our respective computers, and he tries to talk to me while I ignore him for The Knot.  Not nice, Holly.

Working out - I wish I had more ability to make myself do it.  We've been eating healthy since January, and Charles has lost weight.  I have not.  This makes me an angry person, and it drives me to bad foods.  It's a nasty cycle.  Oh, and for some of the workouts I've done, I have figured this out:  I hate Jillian Michaels.  That bitch is crazy.  She makes me hurt.  Bad.  I know it's supposedly a good hurt, but what could possibly be good about being sore for 4 days after one workout?  My sister said if I had continued to work out while sore, I wouldn't have been so sore for so long.  Great, sister.  If I had worked out while I was that sore, I'd still be in a crumpled heap on the floor, cussing at anyone and anything that touched me.  Okay, okay.  I will try to be nicer to Jillian the rest of the week.  My pants are much tighter than they should be, and that has to stop.  Jillian and I will be friends soon.  I hope.  But she has to stop hurting me first.

Wednesday, February 1, 2012

Oh wedding....

I'm tired of planning a wedding.  Really tired.  I don't want to wedding plan anymore.  It's amazing how often I'm asked "So how's the wedding planning going?"  I never know how to answer that question.  Do they really want to know what I've managed to accomplish, which is a much shorter list than what I have left to accomplish?  I could just tell them "I haven't done shit on the wedding.  I'm pretty sure that if I wait long enough, the wedding fairies will show up and do it all for me. I'm waiting for them before I even consider doing anything."  

I also think other people care about this more than I do.  Or, at least they care more about the details than I do.  My sister took a bunch of ribbon away from me this past weekend, because it wasn't the right shade of blue.  Apparently, my wedding color is not navy, so I'm supposed to just get over it.  I don't care.  No one will notice if I use navy ribbon against electric blue bridesmaids dresses.  Besides which, it's not like I'm asking my bridesmaids to wear a navy sash with electric blue dresses.  No.  This ribbon would be fine for favor boxes.  Or centerpieces.  Or the bubbles.  Or anything, really.  If the guests at my wedding are noticing that the ribbon is the wrong color, then I've failed.  Not in that the ribbon is the wrong color, but that my guests are bored enough to be noticing color differences.  If I entertain my guests properly, no one will have time to worry about that damn navy blue ribbon tied to the top of their bubbles.

This weekend is full of wedding stuff.  Cake and flowers, mostly.  Then Sunday there's a bridal expo we're going to.  I made a list of what we have left to do, and it's frustrating me more than anything.  I know I haven't done that much, but it sure seems like I have an awful lot to do, and not much time left.  And February is a short month.  Great.